To wives: Want a transformed marriage? Then, why don’t you change first? Allow the Lord to do a work in your heart and learn to submit to Him, then pray for Him to work on your husband’s heart next – all the while, your husband is witnessing your external conduct that comes from your being a godly woman. God will work on your husband for His own glory!

For women, the Bible is clear in I Peter 3:1-4: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives— when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” (The Holy Bible: English standard version. 2001 (1 Pe 3:1-4). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.)

Women are to submit to God in total trust in Him not your husband! Let God be your focus and seek to glorify Him with an inward, submissive attitude toward Him. This attitude will spill out toward your husband in such a way that he may be won without a verbal word from you.

In other words, God will work to transform your husband’s heart as you make the first move to focus on pleasing the Lord (2 Cor. 5:9). You be a changed life first and let God change your husband. Do not seek to rule over your husband or try to change him. Work on obeying God and He’ll do the rest!

Warning: This type of attitude requires faith in God not yourself!

-Mark (seeking to walk by faith and not by sight or by trying to control things in my life)